Technical Problems with Girlfriend 7.0 and Wife 1.0

To whom it may concern in the Department Technical Supported:

Last year I switched from Girlfriend version 7.0 to Wife 1.0, and I noticed that the program started an unexpected subroutine process, called ‘I Want a Child’, which took up a lot of space and important resources. Besides that, the program itself also occupies a lot of hard drive space. There is no mention of this phenomenon in the brochure explaining the program.

On the other hand, Wife 1.0 automatically installs itself as a resident before all other programs and launches itself during the start of any other application, monitoring all the activities of the system. Applications such as Beer_with _Friends 10.3, Party_Night 2.5, and Football_on_Sunday 5.3.6 no longer work and the system crashes every time I try to load them.

Occasionally, it will launch a hidden program (perhaps a virus?) called Mother in Law 1.0 that seems to be a resident in the memory and can cause the system to crash or cause Wife 1.0 to behave in a totally unpredictable way. For example, failing to attend to any command I enter. I have tried everything and I have not been able to uninstall this resident.

Apparently, I cannot manage to keep Wife 1.0 minimized when running any of my favorite applications. I even tried to go back to the previous Girlfriend version 7.0 program, but I can’t install it.

Could you help me?

Thank you,
Distressed User.

ANSWER:

Dear Distressed User:

The reason for your complaint is very common among users. It is due, in most cases, to a basic error of concept. Many people move from any version of Girlfriend X.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is just an entertainment and utilities program. However, Wife 1.0 is a complete OPERATING SYSTEM designed to control the entire system.

It is very unlikely that you can uninstall, delete, or purge the Wife 1.0 program files once installed in any attempt to return to any version of Girlfriend X.0. There are hidden operating files on your system that will make Girlfriend X.0 emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is earned. You cannot go back to Girlfriend X.0 because Wife 1.0 is programmed to prevent it. The same goes for Mother in Law 1.0, which is a hidden application that is self-installed on the system while Wife 1.0 is running.

There are those who have tried the total formatting of the hard disc to later install the programs Bride Plus or Wife 2.0, but end up with more problems than before. See the Handbook for reference: Section "Precautions", Chapters "Payment of maintenance and pensions" and "Child care". Others have tried to change to Girlfriend X.0 by upgrading the system to Bride 2.0, but the problems that these new operating system cause are identical, or worse, than those of Wife 1.0. Moreover, although there is a version Wife 3.0, and even 4.0, keep in mind that these are programs reserved for specialists, they are very expensive and are not advisable for the normal user.
As a drastic solution, you could choose systems based on completely different platforms like Celibate 1.5 or Be Forever Alone 5.3, but I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and handle the situation as well as you possibly can. 

Personally, I have also installed Wife 1.0, so I am going to trust some of my tricks with you, obtained from my own experience:

- Wife 1.0 is a program that is very sensitive to commands and works in "fail-safe" mode. Since the program will always consider that any failure will be due to a misuse by the user, this means that you must assume responsibility for any problem that occurs regardless of its cause. One of the best resources to prevent the system from crashing is the use of the C: \ ASKFORFORGIVENESS command at the slightest symptom of malfunction.

- Avoid excessive use of the "ESCape" key.

-Consider the possibility of installing some additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 and avoid the dreaded subroutines I Cannot Do It Today. I recommend Flowers 5.0, Jewels 2.3, Go Out to Dinner 3.4, and, as a last resort, Vacation Trip 3.2.

-You can also use small shareware applications that are widespread among users of Wife X.0 with a minimum of experience: such as Yes, My Love 8.0 or Whatever You Say, Honey 14.7.

-Never install Secretary with Mini Skirt 3.3, Young Girl Friend 1.1 or They are my best Friends 4.6. These programs do not work under Wife 1.0 and are likely to cause irreversible damage to the Operating System.

Good luck,
Technical Support